It's not just my imagination    that I got a gun to my head.    Cause I can feel the cold metal    and I can smell the gun powder.    I know they got their sights on me    and its not just paranoia    that makes me think this way.       I know they got their plan for me.    I know they got a grave for me.    They want me to admit defeat.    They want me to show my fear    they know their system's going to break me.    It's crushed countless before me.      I stand here and try to look out   into the dark vastness that is my future.    Unfortunately I can't see shit.    There are clouds and there seems to be layers to the sky.    It's all just too unknown.    I waste time wanting to know what will happen.    How will it end.    But I never want to reach that day    when I no longer have a need for that curiosity.    I don't want to know the end to this "movie".      Shouldn't I be living yet?    Shouldn't I know where I'm headed by now    I have millions of dreams and things    I want to do with this life.    But I barely have time to do the little I do now.    It's not satisfaction I get relaxing at the end of the day.    It's escape from the stress.    Disgust that I'm already in bed waiting to go to sleep again.       Wasn't I just here?    Didn't this just happen?    I can't say I know what will happen tomorrow.    The higher meaning that I'm looking for did not show itself today.