Too $hort, MC      Rap like me, you'll go straight to the top   Keep doing what you're doing and you're sure to get dropped   Like a trick, nothing's even up my sleeve   A million albums sold and it's hard to believe   Well it's true homeboy, it's not a lie   I used to sell tapes on Sunnyside   I used to catch the 40 bus around the way   Me and Fred Benz, slanging tapes   All these things, that we did   Grab the microphone and start screaming "Bitch!"   You fronting MC, I hate to cap   You make hit records and you still can't rap   I said it before, I'll say it again   You don't belive me, ask your fans   When I walked into Cali, the place was packed   Sir Too $hort "Don't stop that rap"   I keep rapping my rhymes, all the time   You got no rhymes, so you listen to mine   I'm not starting a fight, just telling it right   The best damn rapper who ever grabbed the mic   His name is Too $hort, now shut your mouth   In '81 I was rocking the house   I'm a hustler, baby, coming up   I hustle every day and I don't sell drugs   I don't run no gangs, don't shoot no dice   Gave the same damn speech to the Oakland vice   But if you keep pushing, just like you   When they see me on the strip, coming through   I break it down so vicious it'll break your back   With the beat so loud playing Too $hort raps   That's it, I'm set   No need to talk that bullshit   I need a, Oaktown, big time sound   Just enough beat to get on down   So, you other rappers listen to mine   You wouldn't catch Short Dog rapping nursery rhymes   Call my rap trash, jam the junk   Put a sticker on the cover: "X-Rated Funk"   It's just me, you say I won't go far   But I won't stop rapping cause I rap so hard   >From here to New York, back to California   I bumped your girlfriend, don't say I didn't warn ya   All this time you said she's your ho   You really shouldn't give baby all that dough   She gave it all to me cause I fuck so good   I practice on the girls in my neighborhood   Cause when I'm freaky I rap, I spit a rap to a freak   I rarely ever think about a sucker MC   I go platinum, it's just like slapping 'em, bitch   Short Dog in the house, starting some shit   MC's rock and MC's roll   But the albums they make never go gold   When I was young, I knew I'd be one of the best   Every time I made a song it came out so fresh   I was the king of the Oaktown, spitting my game   10 years later, ain't nothing changed   Still the Boss of the Bay, and I know what they say   They call me "Godfather" and they call you "Gay"   Bitch! It's 1990   Your girlfriend's out there trying to find me   She heard about me, I fucked her best friend   I guess she wants to see if I can do it again   You want to be like me, so damn bad   The impossible dream all you MC's had   If you could rap like me, you wouldn't have the dream   Start rapping quit flapping like a chicken wing   If could rap like me, they say you're so great   But when they talk about you, they say you're so fake   And as the days go by, you can't forget   The way I make you feel like shit   MC's like you, I've seen 'em before   You keep on saying "Fuck Too $hort"   But I'm a better MC than you   And ain't a damn thing you can do, but bitch   On the TV screen, in the magazines   When they interview you, you just make up things   You're on an ego trip and you're fronting like you're down   You're not the first real rapper from the Oakland town   You're just a new jack, and you can't even rap   You wanna trip? Trip on that   I'm like MC Lyte, checking hoes tonight   If you're not a real rapper, get off the mic   Cause with a fake MC, a song's never complete   You'd better learn to rap like me      "Thought you want to be like Too $hort" (Scratched 2x)      Whenever I rap, you call it noise   I'm tearing up shit up like the Acorn Boys   On 10th street, I got a big freak   Until you learn to speak, realize you're weak   Cause it's the Oaktown, and they all get down   To the rhythm of the Too $hort funky sound   It goes boom, baseline's on ya   Dangerous Crew from Oakland, California   Bitch don't front cause Short Dog is hard   If you answer my rap, I tear your ass apart   Just liket this, it lasts forever   You make a song and I make one better   You say I cuss, I say you're fake   Your eyes pop open like paper plates   You fronting MC, I hate to cap   I make hit records with the vicious raps   I said it before, I'll say it again   The boy ain't nothing but one of my fans   Like silicon titties, can you feel 'em?   How can a fake rapper fuck with a real one?   Shit, I'm that rapping man   I like you like the Klu Klux Klan   Motherfucker want to front on me?   My posse got a real MC, Too $hort   And it don't stop, and it don't stop, and it won't stop   Cause I'm Too $hort baby on the microphone and I'm macking, bitch      "Thought you want to be like Too $hort" (Scratched 4x)      Now back to the subject, my boy MC   Whatever you say, you can't rap like me   Rappers like me make real hits   Rappers like you talk bullshit   I told my boys there's a new Funky Drummer in town   You're trying to be like James Brown   If I couldn't be me, who would I be?   I damn sure wouldn't be a sucker MC   Cause I'm not like you, my game is true   I pimped these hoes and I pimped you, too   Cause I'm boss, and boss makes the rules   You disobey and you be a fool (Now listen)   One, remember how it all began   Don't guess, the answer is "Oakland"   Two, you'd better learn to rap like me   Or you like to be a fake MC   Three, never talk down on a player   I wouldn't care if you was Fred Astaire   Last but not least, number four:   Don't ever fuck with Too $hort, bitch      "Thought you want to be like Too $hort" (Scratched 2x)