I’m not scared, but this is happening   I’m not afraid, but this is real   It all comes at once   From every single direction   This time I’m not sleeping at all   How could this be real   I’ve failed you   I was lying when I said   I was looking north   I was too scared to show what I am   Bear with me this is all I have left   This night be more than a single conversation   It’s been dancing around in my head   For quite some time   Just the though   Of cleaning up myself   I stare at the wall   Watching my time float away   It’s all been a blur   And nothing will change   I was lying   This is defeat