At precisely eight-o-five   Doctor Frederick von Meier   Will attempt his famous dive   Through a solid sheet of luminescent fire.      In the center of the ring   They are torturing a bear   And although he cannot sing   They can make him whistle Londondderry Air      And the price is right,   The cost of one admission is your mind      We shall shortly institute   A syncopation of fear   While it's painful, it will suit   Many customers whose appetites are queer      Or for those who wish to pay   There are children you can bleed   In a most peculiar way   We can give you all the instruments you'll need      And the price is right,   The cost of one admission is your mind      If you're harder yet to serve   We have most delightful dreams;   Our recorders will preserve   The intensity and passion of your screams.      For we only aim to please;   It's our customers who gain   As their appetites increase   They must come to us for pleasure and for pain.      And the price is right,   The cost of one admission is your mind.