It must be cool to be british   to have that accent thing   sets American girls to swooning   with the promises it brings      It must be cool to be british   where the beatles started it all   if a yank mentions chuck or elvis   they say "you're daft is all"      ..and they're always singing   lalalalala that's what I got to say   I'm busy saving the Queen you sod   so I gotta be on my way      It must be cool to be british   and play that football game   bash skulls of other blokes   who don't dress the same      It must be cool to be british   sign up for the dole   spend your days drinking pints of Guinness   fish and chips for the soul      ..and they're always singing   lalalalala that's what I got to say   I'm busy saving the Queen you sod   so I gotta be on my way      I'm still upset my friend   about that 1812 diss   but I'm getting to know you brits   and you're always taking the piss   always taking the piss      It must be cool to be british   well I'll be gobsmacked   seeing all that crack you're having   it's the royalty I lack      It must be cool to be british   when you hit a party stag   you can bop off to the loo   and sneak a crafty fag      it must be cool to be british   unless you're Irish and say boo   in which case they'll bow politely   right before they shoot you