That night he looked down off the balcony and watched the one lamp post turn on. He watched the black pavement and put his head down. I used to get so much hope from these things, he thought. Hope came from people and he knew it. i wondered about her and if her phone was working. I'm glad I never called? How come I feel so let down all the time? He came home and understood or actually relieved the exact same moments from the year before. He climbed out of his window and started down the block. He wished he was running by trees in stead of houses, and he wished ???      "This moment is all I have."       He stopped 5 blocks away from his house and gave up. He walked home and let himself go. I can't stand you, I thought to myself. I hate being this age and I hate the fact that I will never be content with being alone. I walked past the TV and the bookshelf and the neighborhood lights and knew somewhere there was something out there. Something more than this.       "This moment is all I have."      We lit a fire that lasts forever in a house that no one owns. (It's not your fault) We lit a fire that lasts forever in a city that no one owns.