(Ahh ahh)  There's a voice on the phone  Who just called in to say  "Mr. Jones isn't home, he'll be gone for the day"    So he pulls down the blind  To adjust his disguise  But it's all in his mind which he proudly denies    Turn the boat back from the weir  Where to go from here, I can't hide from each face I see  Looking out from behind them is me    I'm attempting to guess  What they meant when they said  "Mr. Jones and his guest won't be using the bed"    So if I take the rap  While they stay out of sight  I can spring from the trap when the timing is right    One minute I think I know what I mean  The next I hear voices inside disagree  Why are they laughing at me?    Oww!  Ha ha ha ha  Oww!  Ha ha ha ha  Ah    So I pick up the phone  Someone's asking of me  Is the real Mr. Jones, Mister one, two or three?   (One two three)    So I say that they're not  But it's not as I say  'Cause they're all that I''ve got and I can't get away    Alice waves us through the glass, are we home at last?  For tomorrow they'll be here you see  Locked away safe inside there with me  'Cause tomorrow they'll be here you'll see  Locked away safe inside there with me    One minute I think I know what I mean  The next I hear voices inside disagree  Why are they laughing at me?