Lead vocal: frankie howerd      I was lonely and depressed  Having fled the family home  When I met an old acquaintance  I had only barely known    And I told her over tea  Of my worries and my woes  And a morbid fear of eating beans  In tightly fitting clothes    And she said psychoanalysis was just the thing for me  And she knew a mayfair analyst I really ought to see    So I went round to his rooms  And he saw me right away  Though he asked a sum of money I could ill afford to pay    But I lay down on the couch  By a bowl of flaccid flowers  And I talked and talked and talked and talked  For hours and hours and hours  And he told me tales of oedipus with great authority    And he asked me if my mother  Wore stiletto heels and rubber  And I realised that this poor soul  Was more confused than me    Well the shock was so profound  That I fled into the strand  Where I saw a hare krishna group  And joined in with the band    This was just the life for me  Free of worldly goods and care  And I chanted and I ranted  Round and round trafalgar square    I converted tens of thousands and they joined us then and there    But the bagwan was so jealous  That he called me over zealous  Then he threw me out  When I refused to cut off all my hair    (dr. ruth, dr. ruth, why not write to dr. ruth? )    So I wrote to dr. ruth  And she helpfully proposed  I should join a nudist colony  And throw away my clothes    All that sun upon my flesh  Would set my libido free  And would guarentee much more of it  Whatever 'it' may be    But I don't feel that I was quite equipped for such a life    Fair of skin just like my sisters  Too much sun would give me blisters  So I think I'll turn the whole thing in    And go home to the wife