My mother saw me kiss a boy   When I was only ten   Well you might think that's not too bad   But things were different then   She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knees, she said   I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees      She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knees, she said   I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees   She said always use a condom you can do just what you please   They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs      Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...      Said all men are bastards   There's two things they want from you   Someone at home to cook their meals   And someone they can screw   Then after twenty-seven years   They'll get a little itch   And they'll run off and leave you   For some thirty year old bitch      My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said   I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees   She said if you use a condom you can do just what you please   They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs      I don't think my mother liked boys very much      Then your thoughts might turn to girlies   Don't fight it, it's okay   There really is no problem   If you find out that you're gay   But you might find it hard to form   Long-term relationships   So my advice, just grab the girl   Who's got the biggest tits      My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said   I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees   She said always use a condom you can do just what you please   They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs      Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...      When she runs off with someone else   It might not be the end   Cause you might take a fancy   To our fine four-legged things   But their bits are all in different parts   You won't know what to do   So I bought this book with diagrams   Especially for you      My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said   I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees   She said always use a condom you can do just what you please   They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs      Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...      Or you might turn to your family   A couple's not too bad   Just remember uncle Kevin's mine   And don't go with your dad   I said ma, don't patronize me   Don't take me for a fool   Everything you've said we learned three years ago in school!      My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said   I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees   She said always use a condom you can do just what you please   They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs      Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...