My Kristin   I realize that we only went on 12 dates   But I kinda wish you'd acknowledge my existence   But oh, that's just me   And hey I like to not return phone calls   As much as the next guy   But you hold the record for 1999   Congratufuckinglations, you make me sick   And oh, it's gotta be because I'm Jewish   My Kristin   Do you remember that night at the packed party   When you were grinding with two random guys   And then you pretended like you didn't even know me   Oh, memories   And yes, yes, and I don't know   And yes, and never again   Is that her did she see you   Why didn't she acknowledge you?   And do you feel like a douche bag?   And when are you gonna call her again?   Lick my nutsack