Summer again and this world stands still in my heart   Beats bare   Just like sandpaper   It is relief    From the cold of the air and the still greater chill within   My fate is my face   If I make it through just one more year   Without losing this ever-fading grin   Twitch the corners of my mouth   Sprinting downwards this losing race   Until the leaves return   I hope it still feels the same   When it's gone   When the shadows cease to follow   Will I be a man?   Am I worthy of that label?   But as for now   The greyness of the outside   Just reflects    It mirrors me alive   no   It hasn't felt the same   These past four fucking years   I know the warming air   Won't truly alight my heart   But it's better to hope for the hopeless   Than for nothing at all   Gives me something to believe in;   If I could see you I'd give you my tears   Gives me something to believe in;   Bottled as if a quaint commodity   Gives me shelter leaves me bleeding;   Something to stop me from sleeping   Every minute of the day   And save me from the atrophy   Faded initials encased in a heart    Carved into the side of a fallen tree