I don’t care if it   Rains or freezes   As long as I’ve got my    Plastic Jesus   Ridin’ on the dashboard   Of my car      Through my trials   And tribulations   And my travels   Through the nation   With my plastic Jesus   I’ll go far      Ridin’ down the thoroughfare   With a nose up in the air   A wreck may be ahead   But he don’t mind      Trouble comin’   He don’t see   He just keeps his eye on me   And any other thing that lies behind      Chorus   With my plastic Jesus   Goodbye and I’ll go far   I said with my plastic Jesus   Sitting on the dashboard of my car      When I’m in a traffic jam   He don’t care if I say damn   I can let all my curses roll      ‘Cos Jesus’ plastic doesn’t hear   ‘Cos he has a plastic ear   The man who invented plastic   Saved my soul      Chorus      An if I weave around at night   Policemen think I’m very tight   They never find my bottle   Though they ask      ‘Cos plastic Jesus shelters me   For his head comes off you see   He’s hollow and I use him like a flask      Woa Woa Woa      Save me      I don’t care if it’s dark or scary   Long as I got magnetic Mary   Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car      I feel that I’m protected amply   I’ve got the love of the whole damn family   Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car      With my plastic Jesus   I said goodbye   And I’ll go far      And I said with my plastic Jesus   I said sittin’ on the dashboard of my car      Outro-   When I’m goin’ fornicatin’   I’ve got my ceramic Satan   Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car   Women know I’m on the level   Thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil   Sneerin’ from the dashboard of my car