And the three lonely things poking up from the water   are her nipples and her nose as she floats on her back   And the sand is deserted except for me standing   I stand as the landmark to keep her on track    So the ocean wont pull her away       I'm guarding our bags since I really can't swim    and I don't want to learn, though she does try to teach    but thieves who scope tourists at night in the city    in daytime all probably hang at this beach      You never know in Monte Carlo      From noon until evening her skin changes color   from paler than mine to a sun-punished red   So I expect havoc tonight around bedtime   she'll want me to blow on her blisters in bed       That's the sun in Monte Carlo      The keeper of the lighthouse is sleeping    so we creep upstairs to play with his beam    Making ships stray from their courses intended    by highlighting rocks and the shallows between them    And the smashing of hulls in the night seemed to have no consequence at all like the action in dreams      In the morning gulls pick over jetsam and junk    over flotsam but feeling no guilt for their screams    While we spent three quarters of our time apologizing    for the quarter of the time   that we're thoughtless and thoughtless and mean       Just for fun in Monte Carlo    Just for fun in Monte Carlo       We go to the cliffs where the men cruise eachother   their cars come and go like the change of the tide    Where Grace Kelly swam her last swim on the planet    When Grace Kelly's Roadster flipped over the side of the guardrail      One guy looked so nervous in standing alone   My friend saw him shaking and started to laugh   I said "wouldn't you be nervous if you knew in ten minutes   you'd have the surf at your feet and some stranger up your back    giving you his best Monte Carlo"   A ten-minute double ringed halo       You know the most breathtaking sight I've seen in a while   was the site of French men fucking under the stars    We watched them dancing like mermen on fire   'til cops came and chased them away in their cars      We watched them run in Monte Carlo   We watched them and we laid low       And my girl is as red as a rare hot-house flower   her skin is so burned that she's giving off heat    And my girl is as tired as nobody's business   but sea air makes sleeping incredibly sweet      Two more nights in Monte Carlo       And her burn will be a tan   She can't sleep- she just said so    So I turn up the fan