Here's a love song for Annie Hall   Why'd you go to California and leave us all?   I know Paul Simon was there   But that's no excuse   When the real only living boy in New York   Was back home missing you   The Upper West Side will never really be the same   Without your liberal-arts-educated neurotic philanderings   I played tennis with you   And I'm a Jew   In other words, simply put   I'm as mixed up at you   So Annie won't you please come home   You're always gonna be alone   Even your analyst thinks so   But he don't know how much I love you      Here's a love song for Diane Keaton   There you are all suit and tie again   I've got a bone to pick with your agent   Adult comedies are really stale these days   No one goes out to the movies who's not underage   You and Woody should team up again   That'd be a dream   But Woody's doing just as bad as you meant   It's really such a shame   Such a shame   'Cuz Diane you were so cool when you were young   What in God's name happened?   Are we all just destined to become   Mediocre and lame?   Lame      Well I guess this isn't a love song for anyone   I'm just upset that everything was better before my life begun   Now I'm no philosopher but I just told a blatant lie   Because everything was and is the same and will be the same after I die   After I die   But I like to think that if I lived back in the '70's   That there'd be time for more sex and better   Woody Allen movies   Woody Allen movies   Woody Allen movies   So history won't you please come home   And leave poor Hollywood alone   I can always watch my DVD's   God bless technology   Make everything old new for me   Make everything old new for me   Make everything so old   So new for me   Make everything old so new   So new for me!   So new for me   Just new for me