General Francisco Franco   Never went outside   And jumped into his car   And took a ride      And Adolf Hitler   Would stay in his house, watch his soaps   Close all of the blinds    And drink cheap beer      And Mussolini, yeah   Never ate ice cream   Whoa-oh      And Attila the Hun   Never fell in love   Never plucked a flower from the ground   And put it in her hair, where it belonged      And Joseph Stalin   Never went downtown   Kicked off both of his shoes   And ran around      And Mussolini, yeah   Never ate ice cream   Whoa-oh      Mussolini, yeah   Never ate ice cream   Whoa-oh      And Richard Nixon   Hated poetry   Said "Other people's feelings   Mean nothing to me"      If only the Ku Klux Klan   Would all wear skirts   Get subscriptions to Ebony   So many people wouldn't get hurt      And Mussolini, yeah   Never ate ice cream   In the summer   With the top down   It'd drip on his lap   And that would be fine