On a steamer bound for Baltimore   I said, "That’s no fun, I've been there before."   So I jumped ship near Singapore   With a cook from Mexico   I got a bowl of shark-fin soup   I ducked into a bar for a couple a scoops   Played some Texas stud with a circus troop   And they cleaned me out of dough   Cleaned me out of dough      Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   No harm, no foul, no crime   Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   It’ll get them every time      At dawn they all went back to bed   So I went to Borneo instead   Had a hair-of-the dog for my shrunken head   With the sultan of Brunei   Had a small bit of a seizure   On the way to Micronesia   Got a bad case of amnesia   And forgot to say goodbye   Forgot to say goodbye      Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   No harm, no foul, no crime   Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   It’ll get them every time      Stopped in Tajikistan on the way to Iran   I took a break in Jamaica to work on my tan   I swam from Cayo Fragoso to Carriacou   I climbed Machu Pichu in Darkest Peru   Had a pint with the pope and played pool with the queen   Who swam circles around a synchronized swimming team   I once had a job riding bulls in Montana   I taught Jimi Hendrix the Star-Spangled Banner   I’ve been to Morocco, Malawi, Macau   I know how to fly but I won’t tell you how   Been to Morocco, Malawi, Macau   I know how to fly but I won’t tell you how      Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   No harm, no foul, no crime   Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   It’ll get them every time      I bought an ice cold Coca-Cola   From a Congolese high roller   Got deported from Angola   To a castle on the Rhine   Ask anyone that knew me   The Emir of Bahrain sued me   I was in some Blockbuster Movie   And I didn’t make a dime   (Oh, Jack)      Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   No harm, no foul, no crime   Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   It’ll get them every time      Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   No harm, no foul, no crime   Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story   It’ll get them every time