I'm not an artist   I'm an asshole without a job   Making money off alcohol   Making money off calling myself out   "Look at me! A fraud! A phony!"      Entertainer   Thats all you'll ever become   You're no artist, you're a musician   So entertain us   Come on, sing us a song   Keep the customers drunk      I'm not a writer   I'm a kid with a guitar   And a notebook of scattered thoughts   Hum a tune, strum the blues, write some cryptic words   Whatever works    To get you to the next verse      Entertainer   And once the curtains are drawn   You're a screaming contradiction   So entertain us   Come on, sing us a song   The customer's never wrong      I'm not singer   I'm the one with the microphone   I've been making shit up as I go   I'm not a singer   They handed me a microphone   So play along   The show's got to go on!   (The show must go on)   Wow!      Entertain us   Entertain us   Give the customers what they want   Entertainer   You're so down in the mouth   But sales are up this month