Juanita thinks she's a roller rink   We're on the brink of financial disaster   Wants to feel just a little faster   Smashed her hand on the mirror in the bathroom   I get high watching Rockford Files   Juanita lives just like Jimmy drives   Screech those tires, yeah and scrape the sides   Find that little bit left inside   What am I supposed to tell our friends?   That you walked into a bender   I haven't seen you since   But I know that you've been   Getting loose with the gin and juice   The proof is in the photo shoot   I'm sure   You pulled this shit before   Played the prodigal whore   You said you're just exploring      Virginia slept with the sketchy chick    She was sick, they still clicked   Rhode Island slide with the skinny guy   Pawtucket pawnshops and Newport Lights   Made amends with your dealer friends    The truth is in the camera lens   So don't come home   With a stick in your nose    I hired a detective   He's got a tiny camera       Juanita thinks she can skip the sleep   The sun sneaks up on the Born Rock freaks   Maybe next time we get together   The deviated septum    Will feel a little better