I believe everything I read   And I read indiscriminately   I've been watching so much TV   I've got a laugh track in my dreams   Don't know why I'm so listless, but I've got myself convicted   It's got nothing to do with the drinking      No, I don't think you're funny: I'm just hung over and laughing   About something that happened yesterday   I don't find you too attractive, but that's all right   I don't like my friends to be that way   Don't know why I'm so careless...      Did I ever tell you about the time   I dived downstairs twice in one night?   Or about the occasion when I got a concussion   Walking home in broad daylight?   Don't know why I'm so reckless...