I thought I felt your shape but I was wrong   Really all I felt was falsely strong   I held on tight and closed my eyes   It was dumb I had no sense of your size      It was dumb to hold so tight   But last night    On the birthday in the kitchen   My grip was loose my eyes were open      I felt your shape and heard you breathing   I felt the rise and fall of your chest   I felt your fall   Your winter snows   Your gusty blow   Your lava flow   I felt it all   Your starry night   Your lack of light    With limp arms I can feel most of you      I hung around your neck independently   And my loss was overwhelmed   By this new depth I don’t think I ever felt       But I don’t know    The nights are cold   And I remember warmth    I could have sworn I wasn’t alone