I see you got your last check - you're lookin' so depressed   Couldn't handle washin' dishes - you'll be swimmin' with the fishes   You got a girlfriend - she's an ugly lesbian   Afraid to cut your long hair - always thought you wouldn't care   That you couldn't hold a job - your feeble sins will never stop   Think of all the simple joys - of hangin' with the younger boys   Drinkin' up the kool-aid - mama thinks you got it made   You're livin' in the upstairs - time to wash your underwear      Monkey on the gag-reel - tell me how you really feel   Grindin' down your burger brain - standing in the pissy rain   Awful salty pickle dick - you're too flat to call a bitch   Drinkin' down the malto-meal - word is you're the shitheel      You're 40 and you never feel - whether time will ever heal   You're sloppy little stinky ass - never had an ounce of class   Your skate was never any good - silly ridin' goofy foot   You're headed to the bar now - waitin' for your fat cow   Hopin' she will turn a trick - She'll never ever suck your dick   Weak enough to toe the line - suburban little frankenstein   Smokin' all the schwaggy weed - struggle just to bottom feed   Smellin' like a cheesy wheel - got some poopy on your heel      Monkey on the gag-reel - tell me how you really feel   Grindin' down your burger brain - standing in the pissy rain   Awful salty pickle dick - you're too flat to call a bitch   Drinkin' down the malto-meal - word is you're the shitheel