Alice, who the fuck is Alice?      Sally called when she got the word,   She said :"I suppose you've heard   about Alice"   When I rushed to the window   and I looked outside   And I could hardly believe my eyes   As a big limousine moved up   Into Alice's drive..      Oh I don't know why she's leaving   Or where she's gonna go   I guess she's got her reasons   but I just don't wanna know   'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door do Alice   Alice, who the fuck is Alice?      Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance   to tell her how I feel   and maybe get a second glance   Now I've got to get used to not living next door to Alice   Alice, who the fuck is Alice?      We grew up together   Two kids in the park   We carved our initials   deep in the bark,    Me and Alice   Now she walks through the door   with her head held high   Just for a moment    I caught her eye   As the big limousine pulled slowly   Out of Alice's drive      Oh I don't know why she's leaving   Or where she's gonna go   I guess she's got her reasons   but I just don't wanna know   'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door do Alice   Alice, who the fuck is Alice?      Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance   to tell her how I feel   and maybe get a second glance   Now I've got to get used to not living next door to Alice   Alice, who the fuck is Alice?      And Sally called back and asked how I felt   And she said "I know how to help - Get over alice"      She said "Now alice is gone   but I'm still here   You know I've been waiting for twenty-four years..."   And the big limousine pulled away   And there was no room for me   Because Smokie had fucked off   See ya, lads!      Oh I don't know why she's leaving   Or where she's gonna go   I guess she's got her reasons   but I just don't want to know   'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door do Alice   Alice, who the fuck is Alice?      Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance   to tell her how I feel   and maybe get a second glance   But I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice   Alice, who the fuck is Alice?   No, I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice   Just leave me here lads   Go on, just fuck off   You're alright, yeah, I'll get the bus   Yeah   Piss Off!