So you think you know how to wipe your own nose?   You think you know how to button your clothes?   You don't know shit if you hadn't already guessed   You're just a bump on the log of life, 'cause mother knows best      She tells everybody she was born in a ditch   She back-combs her hair 'til she looks like a witch   Wolves in her train, serpents suckle at her breast   Don't forget to wash behind your ears, 'cause mother knows best      Oh you lost your job, well ain't that a shame?   You got nobody but yourself to blame   You deserve everything you get for such a carelessness   And don't eat your peas off the knife, 'cause mother knows best      So your baby's hungry, so your baby's sick?   Don't make babies, that'll do the trick   Put another string of barbed wire in your little love nest   It's better than a cardboard box, 'cause mother knows best      She got a zombie army to serve her well   She got a thousand bloodhounds from the Gates of Hell   She got a hundred black horses with sulphur and coal on their breath   And she rides the unbelievers down, mother knows best      She says "Bring me your first-born, and I'll suck their blood   Bring me your poor, I can trample in the mud   Bring me your visionaries, I can put out their eyes   And bring me your scholars, I'll have them all lobotomised."   'Cause mother knows best