Mistress said "I love you Chris"   Can't stand to see you kill yourself like this   He's talking on the car phone   From the driveway of his own home      Chris is running from the FBI   He's been indicted as a foreign spy   He tells her on his car phone   He thinks they're both alone      Talking, talking   Talking, talking, talking on the car phone      I stole a million fake Nintendo chips   But never let it cross your lips   That I told you on the car phone   Or they'll write it on my gravestone      I'm gonna help you get that acting job   Got you a lawyer from the mob   He tells her on his car phone   Sends a shiver up her backbone      Chorus      And if there's anyone in space   What they'll learn about the human race   Will be from listening to us   Talking on the car phone      Hitman dials a secret code   Receiver in the trunk explodes   As he calls him on his car phone      Orange flames across the center line   You can see it on the news at nine   He really got his mind blown      And if there's anyone in space   What they'll learn about the human race   Will be from listening to us   Talking on the car phone