Well I used to be bad   I was born to lose   And my travelin' shoes was the only shoes I had    Well I used to be cool   I was that Sunday afternoon, sunk 'n drunk and stumblin' fool   'Till I met your momma      She pulled me outta that terrible fix, well   I know daddy's been away awhile   Cause it's been hard to teach an old dog new tricks      Tell your momma your daddy done quit his drinkin'   Tell your momma your daddy done found the Lord   Tell your momma your daddy done quit his cussin', his fightin', his carryin' on   But don't you tell your momma Goddamn, your daddy's bored      Well I used to be sly   I'd stay out all night   And how I loved to fight   And make them young girls cry      Well I used to be crude    I was rude, crude, glued, screwed, tattooed   Down an' dirty with a just plain surly attitude      'Till I met your momma   She pulled me outta this terrible fix   I know daddy's been away awhile   Cause it's been hard to teach an old dog new tricks.      CHORUS      Well if a thousand times I've seen the light   You know that I've gone blind a thousand times again   And if a thousand times I said "I do"   you know I turn my tail a thousand one again   I didn't mean no harm I's just havin' fun again      Uh-oh, uh-oh, SCOTTY'S GOT A SOLO!      Tell your momma your daddy done quit his drinkin'   Tell your momma your daddy done found the Lord   Tell your momma your daddy done quit his cussin', his fightin', his carryin' on   But don't you tell your momma, no   Don't you tell your momma, oh no   Don't you tell your momma Goddamn, your daddy's bored