This is easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do   I struggle over every word,   but I think it's safe to say that I owe this much to you.   I've gotten more than I deserve.   I close my eyes and in my head    I see you walk away.    Panic washes over me.   I know it could be different if I found something to say   but how can I possibly wrestle phrases    from a frozen mind,    extract the necessary lines to ensure continuance of what I've taken for granted all this time?   I'm usually more articulate.   Why do words fail me now?   Just when I need them the most, words fail me.    For the last few years,    I've placed my fate in the hands    of anyone who cared,    never thinking that my expectations were unfair. Now the ultimatum has been given    and I find myself so unprepared to spill emotions that have remained undeclared.