When I wake up   When I am not asleep   Sometime between the night and the day   The Creepy Weeper's calling   and reaching out his hands to me   the longest arm of all      Then he tells me   exactly what to do   for you   who need me most of all   and says if I should grow up   we'll lose the perfect love   he says   I'm made up out of them      I am a fake   I am a ripoff   I will definitely shit on you to get off      When my life is over   I'll think about the day   and joy that I created maybe just for you      Eventually,   he says the strongest walls will fall   and show the monkey (that's me)   Give them the gift of knowing   the truth behind the dream   they love much more than you and me      I am unreal   I am pretentious   I am definitely far beyond redemption      But when I finally wake up   there's nothing else to do   but write a silly song   and sing it just for you      YOU and ME!   ME and ME!      When you think about me   and what I seem to be   You'll see that life is mainly me      I am the world   I am the real one   I will definitely step on bugs (and kill them)      But in this voice I'm thinking   I know just what to do   I'll make a perfect turd and sell it   just for you      I am a sponge   I am a pissant   I am definitely enclosed by sycophants      But if my tongue's wisdom   fall underneath your ears   I'll try forgiveness in me   just for you      I am a worm   I am a goofball   I am definitely not there when the poop falls      But there is a feeling in me   that elevates my soul   when I wallow in self pity   just for you      I am a flake   I am a donut   I am definitely whinier with no nuts      But sometimes I look up   and feel the sun on me   and know it is a perfect world   (it has to be!)   yes, I know it is a perfect world   it has to be!