Remember I made you eat crab apple   And you were sick for a week   Then I stuck your sucky up the chimney   'Till you cried for a week   Then I killed your canary with the hair dryer   And kicked you just to see you bruise   Purple and blue       I was only joking my dear   Didn't mean to hurt you all those years   Thought that they were really laughter tears   I was only joking my dear   Oh dear       Remember I told everyone you went all the way   With that fella from Artane   And all the blokes called you Seven Stars   When we were on our way to Mass with Ma   Then to make matters worse when you blushed   I called you beetrout and tomato head   Purple and red      I was only joking my dear   Didn't mean to hurt you all these years   Thought that they were really laughter tears   I was only joking my dear       Remember I borrowed your favorite jeans   Took them in and cut them at the seams   So they'd fit me   You went ballistic when I called your boyfriend   Chancre head and made ashtrays from your   Bread records...   Oh well, what the hell, you got your own back   Purple and black       I was only joking my dear   Didn't mean to hurt you all these years   Thought that they were really laughter tears   I was only joking my dear       I was only joking my dear   Didn't mean to hurt you all those years   Thought that they were really laughter tears   I was only joking my dear       Oh dear