If Barry bonds is really taking something   To hit make him hit more homers than before   They gotta throw him out of the game, sir   They gotta throw him out the door      Then burn the porn films with all the girls with implants   Burn the poetry by men who took lithium as boys   Your erection compliments of Levitra   Is hereby rendered null and soft and void      Then rip the contact lenses from your eyes, sir   You’re not really supposed to see naturally that well   No more flu shots or antibiotics   You’re supposed to still be sick my friend      In the future they say we’re gonna live   180 years, or 200   And you know they’ll be some jerk going around pointing   Saying you’re supposed to be dead, supposed to be dead      Disgrace by hint and suspicion   It’s point and cast a cloud of instant shame   And the president stamps the witch hunt with approval   And McCarthy gets sent back into the game      I’d like to now make a statement   I’d like to make a statement now   For a three-year period I was taking steroids   And my songs for that time are now in doubt      I apologize to my family   I apologize to you, the fans   I apologize to the very craft of songwriting   I’ll take my punishment with all the grace I can      God Said No and Black Tornado, throw ‘em out   I wrote them while the juice was in my veins   Everything I’ve sung since Fuck the Monkey   Go ahead and throw it down the drain      Imagine a world where everyone’s taking something   Imagine such a world then just for fun   Imagine the president’s taking smart pills   That’d be even better than 73 home runs      Disgrace by hint and suspicion   It’s point and cast a cloud of instant shame   And the president stamps the witch hunt with approval   And McCarthy gets sent back into the game      73   73   73 home runs      73   73   73 home runs