I kissed you blindly in a closet full of coats,   as a cocktail party rattled on beneath the snow   And i held your body like a soldier holds his gun   With a grip so tight that my fingers grew numb      And the room gets quiet,   as the host raises her glass   "A toast to peace and let future loves last"   And you squeezed my hands and said   "This year's yours to have"   And right then and there, i knew I'd never get you back      But i don't blame you, baby   I don't blame you, baby   Who could ever blame you, baby   Not a single living soul      And all the drive home, we rolled the windows down   And let the breeze rush in and all the tensions out   And the silent swelled like a boxer's beating eye   So much to say but will we ever speak our minds   And the car was parked at the house where i was born   She told me this would be the last time she'd be torn   from her friends and from her life outside of me   And then she looked the other way, the other way   "You can't call me baby   I never thought that you could save me   I won't ever be your baby"   And then she started up the car      The heart on my sleeve   is worth the paint on your jeans   To me, it don't mean a thing to say   "I'll see you next Christmas eve"   Cause when you drive away from me,   the sweetest taste of misery   might seep into your arteries and sour all that's left of me      I still won't blame you