[sound of taking a hit, coughing, hacking and phlegm]      {Kermit the Frog]   You know what's green?      [Pam samples Cypress Hill]    Puff, puffin, puffin, puff, puffin   Puffin' on a blunt      Last night I puffed on my last blunt   Damn that was a stupid stunt   'Cause I done said that ten times befo'   That when my life has come to a crescendo   I will let that endo go   But I'm still kissin' it like I'm under the mistletoe   So here we go, I'm walkin' with a steady swagger   Speakin with a st steady stagger   Preachin' with a souther drawl that sounds like Jimmy Swaggart   Cough them flavored off   Said I know I'm flippin' since the last one G, my laces are tied   So you can't trip with me   I remember 1988, December   Someone said, "Puff on this befo' ya go up in her"   So I did it and I guess it musta did the trick   She enjoyed so I guess musta rived the clit   Felt like a man and I left her with an ego strip   Don't know why, 'cause I couldn't even feel my dick   Ego trip lasted and I'm always gettin' blasted   but it's drastic   'Cause sometimes that shit can help you get your ass kicked   Can't buy with plastic, so I'm off to drain the vein for days   I get complaints, 'cause the neighbors say my house stank   Call myself a saint, 'cause I wont' touch the bowl of boom   I gives a fuck, just don't interrupt my Looney Tunes   This afternoon, 'cause I could find a job anytime   Step off my behind, i'm in a Doobie Brothers state of mind   Run DMC, AT&T yo, they both be illin'   I smoked that blunt for last moths three hundred dollar billin'   And I'm willin' to admit that when provoked I smoke to cope   But if I didn't take a toke I'd be leadin' a street revolt   So I make a mental note   And to my frustration   I decide I can't do shit about the situation   Put the spliff to my lips, flick the bic and it's on hit   Coulda been my last blunt   But I can't quit   "Cause then I have to deal with some motherfuckin' real shit   Squeezin' me tighter than you gotta squeeze a cow tit   But on the flip tip, I know I gotta get a grip   Even though in high school I used to be hip   [coughing]   But shit, I'm hockin' spit like I thought it was worth somethin'   My throat can't take no mo'   No future in my frontin'   But it's rough when you grow up, in the tough men roll joints   That's why I been on the bench for marijuana to this point   But it don't faze me, though   I take it lackadaisical   It takes a while for ways to grow   and get out of the old flow   But I'm an old bro'   I done past two decades   I'm wearin' shades so my eyes don't reveal the red haze   caused by my yung   causes daze like Frankie Beverly   Amazin em back it's tried again, no roaches and no safety pins   Now I'm pennin' rhymes about getting on the wagon   And I get skittish   when I think about how the British put the opium in Asia   Fat one to the tactic gankin' black folks while they haze ya   If your gettin' perved your gettin' served this economic   Like the gin and tonic   Brothers get moronic   From they chronic bionic   And it's ironic   'Cause we're not gettin' fucked up we're just gettin' fucked   Shit outta luck and we're stuck with our mind in a muck   So don't duck the situation, 'cause I used to smoke fat Taylors   'Til I figured out that the ganja was a jailer   Waita minute while I get up in a funky situation   The Coup is coming through and there's no hallucination   So what the fuck they say that junk is good for meditation   And if ya smoke a sack, take some Ex-lax, it's mental constipation   There's no hesitation when I'm talkin' about political friction   Stoppin evictions   Government made afflictions   And I have an addiction   That's a big contradiction   So I must confront it   There ain't no revolution goin' come from a blunt      Put the blunt down, Ooooh   Put the blunt down, Ooh, Ooooh      My parna's uncle's cousin got killed by a shooter   I'm depressed, there's a rumor, Boots is gonna hit the buddha   Mary jane will be alone tonight   The only type of hit in sight comes from Pam the Funkstress   Give it to her      [scratches and samples]      Yeah, yeah, yeah   Yeah, yeah, yeah   Yeah, yeah, yeah   Yeah, yeah, yeah   Yeah, yeah, yeah   Yeah, yeah, yeah