I feel like a coffee mug    I feel like a missing sock    I feel like a quiet thud    I feel like an aftershock    I feel like the shirt you leave behind    When you go on vacation    I feel like I can't just let this slide    So you are on probation      If I ever let you kiss me again    You'll have to answer to my fist    If I ever let you kiss me again    You'll have to read the enclosed book list    If I ever let you kiss me again    You won't hold me to rationality    If I ever let you kiss me again    You'll have to change your whole personality      I feel like the skimmed part    In a bucket of skim milk    I feel like the warm heart    Of a cow that you just killed    I feel like a delicious milkshake    At a table of vegans    I feel like a piece of devil's food cake    Possessed by asparagus demons      If I ever let you kiss me again    You'll have to promise not to bite    If I ever let you kiss me again    You'll have to listen if we fight    If I ever let you kiss me again    We'll have to talk about morality    If I ever let you kiss me again    We'll have to change your whole personality      I feel like brand new strings    On a piece of shit guitar    I feel like all sorts of things    But mostly I feel like crap so far    I feel like I wanna sing a song    Where the singer sings they're feeling sad    We'll shit, we already are (You're right!)    So let's make the last chorus totally rad      If I ever let you kiss me again    [mumble mumble]    If I ever let you kiss me again    Something that rhymes with that    If I ever let you kiss me again    We'll adjust your terse mentality    If I ever let you kiss me again    We'll have to change your whole personality