when the roll hits the tree   you wonder what its for, yeah you wonder what it's for   when this poop hits your fan   you wonder if it's right or wrong   but you stand on their lawn   dressed in your black on black   and as you take another throw, you know   it really doesn't matter      tp's not a crime, no tp's not a crime   it doesn't cost a dime, and it's more fun than masturbation   tp's not a crime, hey! tp's not a crime   but if your dad found out, he'd fill you full of lime      your neighbors think you're a nice guy   but they don't know your secret   that you're the one who decorates their lawn each christmas   and you're the one that's seen what they watch on latenite tv      tp's not a crime, no tp's not a crime   it doesn't cost a dime, and it's more fun than masturbation   tp's not a crime, hey! tp's not a crime   but if your dad found out, he'd fill you full of lime      one more night is done   and before as your neighbors wake up for their funny papers and coffee   they'll know you left them another present   a little piece of art for them to enjoy   and remember this, next time you catch a kid on your lawn   that when you were his age, you did it too      tp's not a crime, no tp's not a crime   it doesn't cost a dime, and it's more fun than masturbation   tp's not a crime, hey! tp's not a crime   but if your dad found out, he'd fill you full of lime