All the times I swore I'd never go back there, after all these years I end up on a plane. Ticket paid for by my youngest uncle. He works at a hotel front desk.      The in-flight movie offers no advice.   I decide to drink three pink plastic bottles of wine.   Think about nothing. Try to clear your head.   I think of everything instead.      The past sits in my head like a movie.   All the scenes blend into one moment I stood outside the Safeway calling collect please please answer the phone.