I send pictures through the mail   Well documented and very detailed   To politicians and big celebrities,   But none of them are believing in me   And I await their response   Some send none, most send cops   But man it's a dire situation   And I will risk the public humiliation      Sleestak lightning on my trail   It's a dire situation, they are on my trail      West Virginia has its Moth Man,   Pan handlers got their Skunk Ape.   But I have a tazer and night vision goggles,   Costco rolls of black duct tape.   It's got red eyes, it's got razor claws,   It's got green skin, no it ain't a meth-head.   And after studying its behavior, objectively and critically,   I believe I have a reliable method.      Sleestak lightning on my trail   It's a dire situation, they are on my trail      I send pictures through the mail   Well documented and very detailed   To politicians and big celebrities,   But none of them are believing in me   And I await their response   Some send none, most send cops   But man it's a dire situation   And I will risk the public humiliation      Sleestak lightning on my trail   It's a dire situation, they are on my trail