I've only had 5 cans   I've got one more in my hand   If I drink it really quick   I'll look like more of a man   I've had fuck all to eat   And now I'm slurring my speach   Try and down me some vodka   But it's like swallowing bleach   I promised myself   That I'd go steady this week   But with the week I've just had   This shit is just what I need   I've been practically saintly   All this work I've done lately   Think it's high time for me to go and get wasted      Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked   And I can't see a thing   Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great   Get me another drink   Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked   And I can't see a thing   Absolutely wankered      I've only had 9 cans   And now I can't feel my hands   Getting past the point where I can Comfortably stand up straight   I feel great, but I'm looking a state   And I'm getting the impression   That I've hit on my mate   I'm getting me a reputation   Someone, stop me please   Before I make a scene   I've been practically saintly   All this work I've done lately   Think it's high time for me to go and get wasted      Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked   And I can't see a thing   Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great   Get me another drink   Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked   And I can't see a thing   Absolutely wankered      Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked   And I can't see a thing   Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great   Get me another drink   Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked   And I can't see a thing   Absolutely wankered      Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked   And I can't see a thing   Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great   Get me another drink   Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked   And I can't see a thing   Absolutely wankered