A Surprise Return   My Christmas tree came back today   Angry he’d been thrown away last   Last December       My Christmas tree knocked on my door   And told me ‘bout the trip he’d taken back   Back from the landfill      I told him I was sorry and I didn’t realize   Christmas trees have feelings just like you or I    So I shook his branch and I apologized   And we played ping pong in the basement      My Christmas tree came back today   Told me he had nowhere to stay    So I offered him our guest bedroom      Now our Christmas tree’s been here for weeks   I’ve not the heart to ask him to leave   He’s the worst houseguest ever      And the moral of the story can be said like this:   Christmas trees, they never wanna call it quits   So before you throw your tree out   Chop it up to bits and have a happy new year