i died again.    i always think i've got it figured out and i can be saved, but i'm wrong   and it left   and it left   i knew it all along   i knew it all along   she was no answer   (you were no answer)   at least in herself      she was a reminder to me of    LIFE/BEING ALIVE/NOT LIVING THIS WAKING DEATH      i don't wanna say it   i don't wanna say it   (but)      you put all your eggs in one basket and that baskets me and i am a SHITTY basket      i want to breathe and not be crushed   i want to not mess up      but it may be too late   no no it's never too late!      i'd rather die completely than just in part      i want that life back   i want that life back      i can't expect anyone to understand   i am alone, and my loneliness is carved in stone   I AM ALONE   I AM ALONE   and it's time i acted like it   i am alone   i am alone    i am alone      i want to breathe and not be crushed   i want to not mess up      i wanna live again