(Burrrrp) Oh, yeah, oh, you son of a bitches   (It gets so fuckin' crabby in this booth, man)   (It's like 90 degrees in here)   (Smells like cigarettes in a toilet)      I'm gonna build a Stepfather Factory   (The latest in technology)   Stepfather Factory   (Jobs for the community)   A Stepfather Factory    (The age of familial industry)   A Stepfather Factory   (Building tomorrow's fathers today)   A Stepfather Factory   (The latest in technology)   Stepfather Factory   (Jobs for the community)   A Stepfather Factory    (The age of familial industry)   Building tomorrow's fathers today      Spilling the leftovers of creational clique   We grew with the concept now we're ready to go public   Today's a big day for the company   A big step for the little-steppers who slept for years uncomfortably   Little man, little lady, cute little baby   Reach your hand out to the future of automated robotics   On display here for the first time in under a year here   At the World's Fair - but is it really?   Ladies and Gentlemen, I propose that the market   Is sinking under the weight of useless contraptions   Added to the shopping carts of all hard-working families   Electric doodads and wizard hats exist to keep the munchkins entertained   But get replaced by newer versions such as breakdown systematically   Mothers - how many times have you debated sub-euthanasia tablets for breakfast snacks   When restlessness attacks seemingly at random?   With an emptiness inside that's hard to identify, maybe   Pursuing obvious like pill-popping [the cossanova edict]   Chances are you've been abandoned   Well I'm no scientist, that's not what I went to school for   And I'm not a doctor, so I don't know much about medicine   But I'm willing to bet that you, yes you little   what's your name sweetheart? (Dada) Yeah, whatever   Get a funny feeling in your tummy when your mommy cries   Something between woozy and confusion   And you spend your thoughts on how the sadnessin your mommy   can be rooted out, burned, scorched, turned out, forgotten   Different concepts than the candy and little baby dolls or   Whatever it is that normal kids get to think about   Well I can honestly say that this invention is,   Let me start by saying we've grafted only the finest stuff   Inserted the most high tech, state of the art, with brain charted for authentic   Truly human emotion and trained to be domestic   Made from the most easily available materials and, uh, loosely inspected   Guaranteed to revolutionize   Perfectly realistic and even somewhat institutionally respected   Robotic relative      (That's why I'm gonna build) a Stepfather Factory   The latest in technology   A Stepfather Factory   Jobs for the community   A Stepfather Factory    The age of familial industry   A Stepfather Factory   Building tomorrow's fathers today   A Stepfather Factory   The latest in technology   A Stepfather Factory   Jobs for the community   Stepfather Factory    The age of familial industry   I'm not only the president, I'm a client      So you purchased a paternal unit, class A type 1   A new addition to your living room space, watch it go   Have your warranty for at least 90 days, so have fun   If in that time frame there's a problem, please let us know   Before you start there's a few details that you must learn   Technical specs about your unit to make things run smooth   In an effort to find an energy source our company's learned   The cheapest way to keep his battery running is with booze   Plug it in, give it a name, man of the house, help sustain   Wear the pants, you can relax, [water the pad], nucular fam [ordered a nucleus]   Brings us to the safety chapter   Section 87 in your handbook subsection 16 entitled   Troubleshooting   Fuel sources are at a slight risk of mixing   With the crispy plutonium center   Of your automated new spouse and then driven   Possibly leading to the unpredicted stimulation of its artificial emotion circuits   And in a few unsubstantiated clinical trials this condition   has led to simulated feelings of resentment and worthlessness   Manifested in the highly unlikely but still possible act   of physical aggression towards you and your loved ones fleshy surfaces      Remember, no cash returns   Only credits towards future purchases      "Why are you making me hurt you?   I love you."      "Why are you making me hurt you?   I love you."      "Why are you making me hurt you?   I love you."