I took a look at myself   I dropped all my defenses   After fooling myself   For so long      I broke all my habits   I gave up my pretences   I faced all those things   So crazy and wrong      I had reached a point   Where I could fall no deeper   Right there I knew what to do   Eventually      I know you thought   I was just running away   But the real escape   I had made years ago   Deep inside of me      Are there just no Forevers in life   Are they all just illusion   Just something we build to protect us   From feeling so lost and lonely      Would it be wiser to be   Happy when things are just good   Instead of yearning for perfection   That we'll never find most likely      That advice I have given   To friends and that so much more   Applied to myself   Came back to my mind      How desperately I must have   Tried to believe   That in my own little world   Things were perfectly right      I lied to myself   I despised myself   I denied myself   But the pain grew stronger      I will lie to myself   I will despise myself   I will deny myself   Not one day longer      Because there is no such thing at all   At least not for you and me