1993, shortly before Thanksgivin'   I got the call she say Jamal, Derek is no longer livin   Softly she spoke   Is this a joke?   Man, you gotta be kiddin   As my question was raised this explanation was givin   A meaningless death    Made me question the meaning of life   Does my body remain at rest like when I'm sleeping at night?   Will I burn in eternal hell?   Or will I find paradise?   Be rejected or ressurected like the body of Christ   Is it like purgatory the story described by the Catholics?   Or nirvana that Buddha saw in both theory and practice   Like I studied in my college phillosophy classes   Or do my molecules and atoms travel back to the gases   I mean what I'd like to know    Is wheres my spirit go?   After the curtains close   On my final show   Is there a pain it brings?   Enjoy my favorite thing   Visit ancient kings   Hear the angel sing   Who'll answers these said the great mcs   My man Gremel's battling a debilitating disease   He said "You see a brother like me is full in the fight"   And everytime I question death my only answer in life   Nigga fight      One life   Only god and send me free   Am I living in this moment?   Am I living righteously?   It gets hard, but I know got some people   I'm tryin so hard to be strong      Paralyzed on the bathroom floor by pain   Last month I endured   But now I can't ignore   Feels like rail road spikes being stuck in my liver   And my dyin eyes cryin', body startin to shiver   Crawl upstairs from the basement callin my sister   *sniff* Dawn, help me, I ain't feelin to healthy   Stomach walls burnin   Head spinnin and turnin   Waitin for the EMS 3:10 in the mournin   Rush me to emergency screamin like a newborn   The pain's to strong maybe my souls tryin to move on   He hooked me to the i.v.   Put me through some x-rays   Gave me demorall to kill the pain that was the next phase   Early the next day in a hospital room   Moms and Pops in the room   3 or 4 docs in the room   My test results suggest Your colon and your liver is so cancerous   You got 3 months left   Me and death is playin chess   Ever since then   My strength is the most high,my fam and close friends   The Last Emp been sent free blessed me with a verse   Stayin healthy comes first, look at me, things can be worse      One life   Only god and send me free   Am I living in this moment?   Am I living righteously?   It gets hard, but I know got some people   I'm tryin so hard to be strong      One life   Only god and send me free   Am I living in this moment?   Am I living righteously?   It gets hard, but I know got some people   I'm tryin so hard to be strong