The Shepherd raises up his staff   And hurls it at the crowd   To the sound of a maniacal calliope   And Leo the Lion reclines on the throne   He had built by the boys in the band   And the crown upon his head reads   "By the Queen's decree"   Do we all agree   Luck knows no justice at all      Everyone's a self-made man,   there before the thing began   Making such a circus of the best laid plans   Everyone's responsible,   empty words and purses full   Making such a circus of the best laid plans      The clowns arrive in a pirate ship   And pose before the crowd   Hilarious remarks and inactivity   They throw the dog faced boy a bone   Command him to play dead   For the Hollywood and Hollywood infirmary   For the standard fee (repeat after me)   Luck knows no justice at all      Everyone was paid their fee,   I made you and you made me   And we made such a circus of the best laid plans      You can tell a big man by the company he fleeces   Step right on up here son see how your wealth increases   Get your Cross of Iron, get your thirty silver pieces...      Here's Dr. Dogma's smug prescriptions   Placebo cures of all descriptions   Shucking and jiving for the circus of the best laid plans   I wish I might, I wish I may   You've ruined my August and it's only May   I'm off to join the circus, dad   Of the Best Laid Plans      Everyone can fill their nose. Everyone can strike their pose   Welcome to the circus. The Circus of the Best Laid Plans