It started when the neighbors saw my fancy new T.V   That opens up the gate outside my home   And let's me let in anyone I really wanna see   And keep out all them other dudes I don't   Then one by one they started comin' over to perform   And someone played "Temptation" on kazoo   Nellie got as naked as the day that she was born   And it sure was all over Baby Blue      Chorus:   I've got electric eyes, two big dogs, and a mine-field   And miles and miles and miles of barbed-wire fence   But the biggest show in town is in my driveway   And we ain't had a good night sleepin' since      Orville Baker's showin' us the fastest draw in town   Cora Lee's clackin' on her spoons   Ol' Jesse's trick dog sure does look dead lyin' on the ground   And Jesse's wife is a-howlin' at the moon   Charly's ugly daughter sure can tap dance   Mable Thatcher's walkin' on her hands   And just as I was leavin' for the kitchen for a snack   Ol' Lulla Bell amazed us with her fans      Chorus:   I've got electric eyes, two big dogs, and a mine-field   And miles and miles and miles of barbed-wire fence   But the biggest show in town is in my driveway   And we ain't had a good night sleepin' since      Froney's got an act that's hard to follow   Norman plays a nimble tamborine   You should see what Sara Lee can swallow   And ol' Billy does a wicked "Mr. Clean"   Good Lord, if I'd've known this future when I started   Believe you me, I'd never change a thing   I got a closed circuit circus in my bedroom   And a world full of whackos in the wings      Get 'em Burt !   Chorus:   I've got electric eyes, two big dogs, and a mine-field   And miles and miles and miles of barbed-wire fence   But the biggest show in town is in my driveway   And we ain't had a good night's sleepin' since