Where did I leave my sweater   Where did I leave my sweater   Where did I...   Aww shit, I think I left it in Santa Cruz      At that show I played    At the university college   Ten dining commons   Multi-purpose room      Yes I remember it all clearly now   I was packing up my things   When a young female student   Said I sound exactly like Jason Mraz      And it was then that I set down my sweater   To appear natural and un-offended   As our conversation shifted to autographs   And was then abruptly ended   When I signed her new CD 'Jason Mraz'      So tomorrow I'll go to Mervyn's   Tomorrow I'll go to Mervyn's   Tomorrow I'll wake up early   I hope my sweater's still on sale      And I can see 'em all like vultures   At the Cherokee brand clearance rack   And by the time I get through   All they'll have left is triple XL      And If my sweater's not on sale   I will wait there until it is   And I will shiver while I wait   Because it's cold      And while I'm shivering while I'm waiting   For my sweater to go on sale   I'll imagine that girl from Santa Cruz   Being swallowed by a whale   And blaming her new life in a whale's belly on Jason Mraz      So I was standing in line at Mervyn's    And the guy in front of me    Was obviously wearing a toupee    And I started thinking to myself       "What if all our lives were just    Really long one act plays    In which we shitty actors try desperately    To be somebody else"       Like hey look at me, I've got a fancy house    Somebody killed a cow and made my couch    And I've got synthetic hair    Velcroed to my head       And if that's the case then I'm concerned    That I'm too young to know the truth    And I'll have to spend the next sixty-five years    Trying to recapture my youth    You know there aren't many words that rhyme with 'Mraz'      So when I go bald I'm shaving it off   When I go bald I'm shaving it off   When I go bald I'll never ever   Wear a rug      I'll let the neighbor kids   Draw dragonflies   And beautiful Bengal tigers on my head   When I go ba-a-a-ld enough      And if my wife's embarrassed by the tigers   And she won't be seen in public with me   Then I'll divorce her   And the divorce will be relatively quick and painless      Cause she can keep the house, she can keep the couch   And whatever I left behind   She can even have my sweater   If she ever happens to find it   I am moving out to the woods where I belong      Yes I am moving out to the woods where I belong   Yes I am moving out to the woods where I belong   Yes I am moving out to the woods where I belong