there's so much that i don't understand   so i lay awake and analyze the night   I have popped every pock, picked at every scab.   The levels aren't hot enough   It sounds so cramped and tight      faster than a bullet from the chamber   from hotel beds "i love you" said to strangers,   no matter what it meant, no matter what's implied,   i'll keep wasting all my time finding signals, riding rhymes,   not one voice goes unaffected      crumbling under all the weight of critics, judges, mentors   falling off the cart, some sunlit, show-less, hapless town   in the winter, the van is quiet   and we're crowded   the pen is broken   i'm bleeding on the napkin      all of these thoughts are inconsequential so it's over,   it's all over   we hoped the greyhound would roll over   down into the drink and the cops would block the streets for miles      crumbling under all the weight of critics, judges, mentors   falling off the cart, some sunlit, show-less, hapless town   the spell i'm under blankets ear plugs   swelled up breath getting quicker so   i dog-ear pages to remember where i left off      i hope we grown up soon   before my mind goes out of tune   i hope we grow up soon   before out lights go out      in the winter the van is quiet