Showed up drunk one Christmas Eve   Made mom so mad she had to leave   Dad grabbed me by the collar, said   "What the hell are you thinkin"   Another fine moment in my life   Brought to you by drinkin      I stole a little boat from our neighbors yard   A little late night fishin   Thought, "this won't be hard"   Out on the middle of the river   And the damn thing started sinkin   Another fine moment in my life   Brought to you by drinkin      I guess it hasn't been all bad   I think about the good times that I've had   And as a matter of fact   I think I've learned a thing or two   Like fruit and beer don't mix   Purple shots were made for chicks   And make the double shorts (?)   The cheaper you start winkin (?)   My life is just one fine moment after the other   All brought to you by drinkin      I had a few too many at my buddy's bar   Like I told, you know what   I hopped right in the car   And then my license was gone   When I saw the red and blue blinkin   Just another fine moment in my life   Brought to you by drinkin      I guess it hasn't been all bad   I think about the good times that I've had   And as a matter of fact   I think I've learned a thing or two   Like you can do the left of the white   And the right of the yellow   When the cop walks up beneath the light you say "hello"   Mean it when you swear it'll never happen again   My life is just one fine moment after the other   All brought to you by drinkin      And if not for those 15 beers   I might have been paralyzed with fear   Instead of saying "hey cutie   How do you like my singin"   I never dreamt I was hittin on my future of wife   That might've been the finest moment of my life   And it was brought to you by drinkin   This life, is brought to you by drinkin      Preceding message was proudly brought to you by...   Drinkin