Now I thought that Kate was groovy    Thought that I could make her mine    But when I asked her to a movie    She respectfully declined    She said she'd be my comrade    And she said she'd be my friend    But she couldn't be my lover    Cause she was a lesbian       I've tried so hard to understand    Why it's got to be this way    Won't someone tell me    Why all of the cool girls are gay       Now I really liked Melissa    Yeah, I thought she was so tender    But when I tried to kiss her    She told me I was the wrong gender    She said she'd be my buddy    And she said she'd be my pal    But she couldn't be my girlfriend    Cause she's homosexual       I wish someone would inform me    And banish my naivete    Won't someone tell me    Why all of the cool girls are gay       I've been around for years    And I still don't understand why    But no one I want to do it with    Wants to do it with a guy       Now Kate lives with Melissa    And me I live alone    And the three of us go out    But then the two of them go home    They say I'm really special    And I think that they're both great    But I'd really like to find someone    Who likes me and who's straight       I've asked the whole world over    But no one who knows will say    Won't someone tell me    Why all of the cool girls are gay       I woke up and thought that things had changed    But it's the same as yesterday    Won't someone tell me    Why all of the cool girls are lesbians    Why all of the cool girls just don't like men    Why all of the cool girls are gay