I know you and I’ll agree   What this world needs is a lot more me   Well, I have got the remedy   Gonna write my autobiography      I’ve led a fascinating life   Had a husband and a wife   But you will truly be amazed   at just how humble I have stayed      Enough about me, let’s talk about you   What do you think of me   You must feel such gratitude   that you will get to read   my autobiography      My life doesn’t have a very good plot   Guess I’ll have to lie a lot   Should be easy to make things up   There’s no one left to call my bluff      A lot of my old friends have passed on   The rest did drugs and their memory’s gone   So I’ll write my own history   in my autobiography      I’ll say I slept with a Kennedy   Don’t remember which one   They all looked the same to me   or they did when we got done      Maybe they’ll film it for TV   I wonder who they’ll cast as me   Should be somebody I look like   Sigourney Weaver’d be all right      Gonna be hard to deal with fame   once the whole world knows my name   but I’ll stay humble and grateful to   all the little people like you      A thousand pages more of me   and all I’ve said and done   It will be my legacy   and that’s just volume one   of my autobiography