I heard your wife died the other day   I want to be the one first to say   that I want you to do me!      When I heard that she bit the dust   I was oddly consumed with lust   I was dying for you… to do me.      I’m alone   now so are you.   She is gone, there’s nothing you can do…   but me.      I know I’m not the only one who feels this way   that’s why I have the nerve to say   that I’m desperate for you   to do me.   Won’t you do me?      I know it’s sad. I know you’re there, lonely and blue   I know it’s bad that it only makes me even more and more into you.      I know it’s bad. I am a crass opportunist.   But I don’t want to wait.   If I hesitate you’re gonna fall for the girl who’s there soonest.      Seeing you, filled with grief   Makes you hot beyond belief!   So do me.