The first time I heard about the term work-life balance I was surprised that anybody even thought of balancing the two. Wasn’t that like counting apples and oranges? Still, the idea was quite exciting and I thought I’d explore it a bit more:I thought long and hard about what kind of working hours I wanted to have, what kind of office, how many people. By means of visualization all of that became a clear image that I was drawn to. Interestingly enough my enjoyment of the visions lasted only until the moment I realized that all my dreams and visions had come true! There is a Chinese curse: May you reach all your goals – that is exactly how I felt: empty and cursed - dreamless. So I pondered what I could do differently. First of all I learned that constant striving for new actions creates a mess of outcomes that are not necessarily beneficial. It is like attempting to weave a rug using thread that is in a tangled mass.
Imagine yourself inspired by the idea of the colors you want to use, the thread choice and the size of the rug – your vision is clear and you slowly start working on it until you meet the first obstacle: knots that start taking you away from the initial goal. As you are solving the unpredicted problem, emotions arise, impatience, confusion – you end up working on untying the knot rather than weaving the rug.Recently I started working with Michael Neill, a truly inspiring coach and NLP practitioner, to learn that there are times when it is right just to sit back and relax, allow thoughts to clear and become a tabula rasa – a blank sheet of paper ready to be filled with fresh ideas. Confused at first and even upset by the lack of taking action, I rebelled against the process. I questioned if it was right for me, but each time I would face the same old fact: action was the thing that brought me where I was in the first place – and I wasn’t fulfilled.Thinking about what triggered this awareness, I realized it was a simple exercise that seemed to be non-action: Exercise for clearing the mind.Find a comfortable chair and while sitting (or lying) observe your thoughts while not acting upon them. Free your mind of all ‘I shoulds’, of all ‘I musts’. Once a thought comes that brings a ‘WOW!’ as a comment proceed with one action that takes you closer to the realization of that thought. For those doing the exercise for the first time – when moving from thought to an action, choose small steps that are easy to achieve and give you a sense of completion. Do this exercise daily for 20 – 60 minutes a day.Copyright2007 Dalida Turkovic
